Slice of Life Day 30: So a man walks into a bar...

I heard two funny jokes today. Allow me to share:

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? 

He couldn't control his pupils! 
(I seriously laughed for like 15 minutes about that one.)

Goldfish: The only snack that looks at death with a smile.

I love jokes. Funny ones, dumb ones, confusing ones, inside ones. If you have any jokes, let's hear 'em!

Slice of Life Day 29: Reflections on the Creation of Text

I'm all typed out. I just typed up 3.5 pages of grammar analysis. And now I'm tired of staring at a cursor on the screen. I'm tired of the website of the word processor determining what my writing looks like.

I want to go write in my journal, or write tomorrow's to do list out on a clean sheet in my planner with my pink pen that I finally found. There is something soothing about the calm creation of text on paper.

I like my handwriting when I take my time; the order of events on the page is reinforced by the neat ordering of my handwritten letters. I like computer-driven writing, but I feel that, as with all things in life, moderation is key.

So, despite the fact that I need to email Dr. Dean and I need to start typing whatever it says on that pink sheet, I think I'll close my laptop for the night, write with pen and paper, and start up my frenzied typing again tomorrow morning.

Typing: Can't live with it, Can't live without it.

Slice of Life Day 27: Seek and you shall find...

Today I embarked on a quest for a most valuable treasure. The only things I took were my keys, my mobile communication device and two pieces of plastic. I hopped in my transport and drove to the place where I hoped to attain the treasure. I drove around and around, looking and looking for the entrance to my destination. A severe lack of signage hindered my progress. But after making a quick call to headquarters, I was able to find the access point.

I entered the building, cautiously hopeful. To gain what I sought, I had to first wait in a line, sign my life away on paper, and wait in a smallish holding area. Then I was taken to a back room by a uniformed guide. My guide tested me to make sure that I was worthy to gain what I sought. She squeezed my arm with a big air-filled band. She poked my ear. She asked me some questions. I must have done well, because she took me to another room.

It was there that I finally came in contact with "The One Who Held The Key For Quest Success." He too poked my ear, this time with a light. He listened to me breathe. He looked in my mouth. These were strange tests to be sure, but I was willing to endure whatever it took to complete my quest. Finally, he signed his name on a piece of paper and gave me that paper. I'd done it! I finally had in my possession a ticket to the treasure.

I hurried to the nearest dispensing station. There, I cashed in my ticket for something greatly desired: a large orange bottle with two-toned pink pills: antibiotics!!!! My quest was complete.

Now, I can focus on the final battle: The Battle of Me vs. Antibodies. With the help of my little pink friends, I will be unstoppable!!!!

Slice of Life Day 28: Freedom!

I decided today that I'm done with makeup. Except for special occasions. And except for times when I have extra time in the mornings when I'm getting ready. But that never happens so don't worry about that.
Anyways, I feel so liberated! No more being chained to corporate entities like Mabelline and Cover Girl! No more make-up remover! No more mascara tears! No more clumps in my peripheral vision!
Granted, it will take some time to get used to. At the moment, I think I look ghostly. But the longer I go without makeup, the more used to my natural beauty I will be :) If only I could do the same thing with sugar...

Slice of Life Day 26: Wake up in the morning...

This morning I woke up with fantastic bedhead. Bedhead fascinates me: how did my pony tail stay perfectly preserved, but the few baby hairs that make up my hairline were arranged in the most artistic of fashions? It's as if Ralph the Night Hairdresser visited my pillow last night, and said, "Well, I can't get to the majority of her hair, so I will make the most of what I have to work with!" I'm telling you, that guy is no underachiever. He does his work well. So well, in fact, that when I tried to push all of those little fly aways back with a tight headband before my morning work out, I was still having control issues. That headband is tight enough to stay in place no matter what I'm doing, but for some reason, it just couldn't keep my hair back in a satisfying manner. The only way to really erase Ralph's work is to take a shower, which is kind of sad though, because, despite its frustrating nature, bedhead is always always ALWAYS good for some laughs. Especially when it is a chronic problem, like for my mom. My mom always has bedhead, and the best part is: her hair is never the same! Ralph the Night Hairdresser always has something great in store for her, which we, her family, always appreciate. Bedhead: a blessing and a curse, but really a blessing. Because who doesn't like starting their morning with a laugh?




Not sure if this is bed head, or if this guy is always like this...

This chick does not even comes CLOSE to my mom's level of bed head excellence. She must have been a victim of Ralph's intern.

Oh wait...

Slice of Life Day 25: An Equation

Chocolate + Giggling + Sleepless in Seattle + Pillow Talk + Empathizing = Girls Night

Slice of Life Day 23: The End Is In Sight!!!

Guess what! I think my smoker's cough is going away! I went and stocked up on medicine, and it's like, as soon as my germs saw that I was preparing to aggressively go after them, they were like, "Oh no! Not the Nyquil! and Sudafed! We surrender!" It's like just the threat of medicine was enough to make my sickness ease up. I'm going to bed early, and I hope that in the morning the rest of my symptoms have also retreated. As soon as I'm done with Mr. Cough and Mrs. Congestion and their children Sore Throat and Sniffles, I'm going to got work on my term projects, all of which I'm actually looking forward to. I'm honestly excited about researching the origins of science fiction in America, looking for grammatical moves in Mary Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, and creating scintillating lesson plans. Spring is coming, the end of the semester is almost here, and I think my cold is clearing up: life is bright right now!

Slice of Life Day 21: Musings of a Fairly Sick Person

My body is out of whack. And the cure is not reading a ten page article about expository text literacy (don't tell Dr. O). I think I only comprehended about every other word from that article.....specifically I remember reading about systemic anatomy......or something like that.
I calculated my incidence of illness rate: I get sick approximately 1.2 times per semester.
I learned about some new technologies today in my IP&T class: Prezi and Mendelay. They are pretty sweet.
I feel like Meg Ryan when she gets sick in "You've Got Mail": wouldn't it be nice if someone as witty and charming as Tom Hanks brought me daisies?
I think I'll take a shower. Or maybe just go to bed. Or do some more homework. My decision making skills seem to have been shredded during one of my several bouts of coughing (I sound like I've been smokin' Virginia Slims for 40 years).

This is my slice of life for today. Nobody said it had to be pretty. Or clever. Or coherent.

Slice of Life Day 20: Peace and Quiet

I went to my grandparents' branch today. My grandpa is president of his branch, which is made up of the six residents of an Orem nursing home. Every Sunday he and my grandma drive five minutes to the nursing home, help move chairs and couches into position, pass out hymn books with over sized print, and help the elderly get from their rooms to the lobby-chapel. Wards in the stake take turns providing a chorister, an organist, priesthood to bless and pass the sacrament, speakers, and a musical number; the meeting lasts less than forty five minutes. It's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

I went because I wasn't feeling well, because I still wanted to take the sacrament, because I was running late (their church starts 30 minutes later than mine), because I like the serenity of church in the nursing home. When your head is foggy and your throat is sore, it's nice to sit in the company of those whose minds are functioning but their bodies are not. It was so peaceful. The meeting was brief but the spirit was strong. And the messages were tailored to those who were reaching the end of their lives; it gave me an opportunity to reflect: what will I be like when I'm in my eighties or nineties? How will I feel? Will I fear death? Will I welcome it? Will the veil be thin as I prepare to return to my Maker? Will I even realize what is happening around me?

The secrets of the old remain hidden from me, but on a day when I wanted peace and quiet, I found it during the church meeting of six weathered old men and women. My body still felt out of sorts, but my spirit was lifted and I am grateful that I was able to enjoy the Sabbath in the company of strangers: it was just what I needed.

Slice of Life Day 19: Saturday Night

I'm laying on my couch, wrapped in my blanket made out of old t-shirts that I accumulated throughout my high school years, waiting for an episode of NCIS to load, listening to the rain. I'm all by myself, and I don't mind. Some would insist that Saturday night is a time for partying and hanging out and stuff. But I did that last night. And all day today. And I'm tired. So contrary to the norms of college life, I will be spending the rest of my Saturday night quietly and with only a few friends: the rain, my blanket, and the cast of NCIS.

Slice of Life Day 18: Writing About Talking

Tonight I had three interesting conversations.
1: With a friend recovering from surgery. Despite the fuzziness brought on by powerful pain medications, he still made me laugh and inspired me to be better. He walked slowly and he talked slowly, but he made me want to pick up me feet, march on, and finish up the semester on the right note.
2: With a friend that I've known for three years. Sometimes I feel that our relationship is rocky, and that our personalities clash a bit, but tonight, as we talked during a car ride from Orem to Smith's, I felt security in our friendship. We were open and honest and vulnerable, but it was okay because we were and are joined by a friendship that carries on despite our occasional differences.
3: With a friend that I've known for three months. It was during this conversation when I "talked to learn." I love this friend despite our short acquaintance, and tonight I felt that she loves me as well. It is so nice to know that you are loved. I did more talking than she did, and she did more listening than I did, and in the process I was able to come to some important conclusions. She helped with the process of self discovery, and after she left I felt enlightened. She gave me some advice, but mostly she helped me by simply being there, listening intently, all while truly caring about me. It was a wonderful way to end my night.

I'm so grateful for the power of the spoken word and the God-given ability to converse with our fellow human beings.

Slice of Life Day 16: Parts of a Whole

The tops:
Pink with dark red polka-lines.
Outstretched yellow.
Red all wrinkled and scrunchy.

The middles:
Green.
Straight or listing slightly.
Eating light.

The bottoms:
Housed in water and glass.
Drinking all day long, slowly.
Sustaining and supporting.

The flowers on my coffee table.

Slice of Life Day 15: Love is in the Air

The relationship status of the girls living in The Elms 304B:

KO: Engaged
BW: Almost Engaged
HS: Impending Relationship
AH: "He needs to quit dragging his feet and ask me out already!"
CB: "There is a severe lack of tall men in this place."
Me (JC): *twiddling thumbs and disinterested whistling*

I feel like I'm running out of stuff to write about, so I chose to write about the basic atmosphere of our apartment today. Spring is in the air, but so is love. Flowers are budding and blooming, and so are the relationships involving a few females in our apartment. Other flowers lay dormant, and that's about where I am. There are a few guys that I want to ask me out, but I know that they won't, so instead I go on dates with Harold B. Lee, Joseph F. Smith, and David O. McKay. They are good guys, but it would be nice to go on a date where homework and studying are not the main activities. At this point I feel like I should make some sort of resolution to love myself sans boyfriend, or some statement about girl power, or something. But I'm just neutral. Apathetic. Meh. Boys are cool, and I have some great guy friends. But other than planning bridal showers, I think that I'm going to avoid getting sucked into the whirlpool of weddings and weeping and wishful thinking that we call "romance."

Slice of Life Day 14: Daffodils Despite the Darkness

I was on the verge of entering the Mid-Winter Semester Doldrums (nothing a little Spring Break couldn't fix) when some wonderful things happened:

I got an A- on my massive research project that I devoted my life to for over a week and a half. (I gave my teacher a hug because I was so excited.)

I won a book from a drawing! I can't remember the name of it, and I haven't started reading it yet, but the shiny book jacket, the stiff spine, and the witty illustrations are tempting me right now. There is something lovely about receiving a new book, especially a children's book, that awakens a sense of joy and enthusiasm that is rarely provoked by anything else.

I made it to the gym! And I got everything in that I wanted: cardio, biceps, triceps, and some leg muscles that I've forgotten/repressed the names of (leg muscles are my least favorite muscles, despite how helpful they are). I felt awesome afterwords. 

To celebrate Pi Day (3/14) I attended a Pie Party with my ward, and the sense of camaraderie that was present in the party apartment was fantastic. Who knew that so much love and friendship could be present in one room? And it was just because someone wanted an excuse to eat one of the best types of dessert on the planet? I'm so blessed to have such a fantastic ward family: they were the perfect ending to a surprisingly lovely day.

Perhaps the best part of the whole day, though, was the physical metaphor for my day that I saw while I was walking home from campus. The sky was overcast, and it was a little chilly, but when I looked to my right, I saw daffodils emerging from the damp ground; some were simply green shoots, but others where fully in bloom. How wonderful is that? And that's exactly how my day was: I could've been down because of the mid-semester situation, but instead, there were little moments of happiness that managed to make the whole day beautiful.

Slice of Life Day 12 (Posted a Day Late): Fuzz in the Fridge

Today I cleaned out the fridge. It was pretty gross: I encountered fur, frost, and forgotten leftovers of all kinds. But despite the fact that I had some near-barf experiences, I felt so proud when I was done. Everyone's food was in order, things were organized by height, and there is now a general sense of peace in the fridge. Now I'm excited to explore the fridge for meal options, and I know that opening the freezer door won't cause an avalanche. Who knew that cleaning out the fridge would bring such benefits?

Slice of Life Day 13: Thinking About Thinking

It's nice to have someone else to pray for. I pray for myself so much that I sometimes feel whiny when I talk to God. But today I offered a lot of prayers for my friend Cody, his sister and my roommate, Amanda, and their family. Cody was in a bad snowboarding accident, and he had surgery today to stabilize his spine (one of his lower vertebrae was completely broken). Thinking about somebody else, praying for somebody else, worrying about somebody else was refreshing, because sometimes I'm so self-centered and so focused on my own problems that I rarely feel empathy for others. But empathy, compassion, and charity are all godly attributes, and whenever I feel these things growing in my heart, I feel a little closer to heaven. So even though I'm worried about others, I feel love. When I'm searching for something to do to help someone else, I feel like I'm working towards something higher. When my thoughts are focused on others, I feel happier (it's kind of paradoxical, but it's real). Today was a good day, because I thought about what how I can be better this week, but most importantly, I was thinking about, praying for, and sending encouraging text messages to some of my best friends in the whole world. It hurts my heart that their family is going through this, but at the same time, it gives me the opportunity to forget about myself and work to show my friends how thankful I am for their presence in my life.

Slice of Life Day 11: Raquetball

Ball smashing.
Racquets flailing.
Walls echoing.
Brows perspiring.
Welts forming.
Mind thinking: "Please let this be over soon."
Jimmer scoring.
Me not watching.
Date dragging.
Us hugging.
Solitude comforting.
ESPN summarizing.
Eyelids drooping.
Sleep impending.

All I need are a few absolutes (a grammatical term describing the combination of a noun and a participial) to sum up my night.

Time of My Life: Not in the Testing Center

I took a test today in the testing center. I always get really bored when I take tests. Today was especially bad. I blazed through the fill in the blank portion, but when I got to the essay question, I would answer a question, look at the clock, listen to the people shuffling in and out, look up, look down, look to make sure the testing center monitor isn't looking at me because he thinks I'm cheating. I was just bored. Then I would answer another question, look up at the clock, look over, look up, look back, breath in, breath out. Bored. There were only five essay questions, but it took me an hour because I was bored and distracted. I knew all of the material, well, most of it, but for some reason, I just didn't want to write it all out. "Brain dumping" was just not interesting to me at that moment. Studying is waaay more interesting than actually taking the test. Not that I like doing either activity: I would much rather read a book or take a walk or write my Slice Of Life. But I pushed through. Despite my apathy, I finished the test, and moved on to bigger and better things: homework, going to the bank, going to the grocery store, making dinner, getting asked out on a date, and so on and so forth: all things that are much more stimulating than a test in the testing center. I'm sorry Heber J. Grant, but your building is not the most exciting place in the world for me.

Slice of Life Day 8: Battle of the Bulge

I declined frozen yogurt AND chocolate-covered strawberries today. YES!

I've been trying to slim down. To do so, I, with the help of my personal trainer, Ridiculous Josh, began a regiment of eating little/no sugar, going to the gym four times/week, and eating lots of protein and not a lot of carbs. I've been struggling with actually implementing this system into my lifestyle, but today, I took a huge step forward: I avoided two of the things that I love the most (frozen yogurt and chocolate). I won the battle today! But, I've yet to win the war. I yearn for the day when my swimsuit waves the white flag and says, "Alright fine, I give up: I'll allow you to look slender while wearing me. You've slimmed down and toned up. I surrender!"

Talking swimsuits? Yikes, it seems like the diet is getting to me.

Slice of Life Day 7: The Beginning Does Not Determine The Ending

I slept in today. On accident. I wish I would've woken up earlier. Because then I would've been able to a.) not be late to class and b.) avoid a really long, weird dream, involving me being pregnant but not really and my estranged husband showing up and shirts that suddenly fit when they look like they shouldn't. Like I said: a really long, weird dream. I burst awake at 10:03 (class started at 10), got ready as fast as I could, and made it for the last twenty minutes of class. I felt like such a loser, walking in so late. It wasn't the best way to start my day, but I am determined to finish on the right note. I have about eight hours left before bed time: eight hours of awesomeness: bring it on :)

Slice of Life Day 5: Help Me, I'm Drowning In Mess!

My room is a mess right now. Thankfully, I can still get to my bed, but getting to my closet? Forget about it. Dirty clothes, clean clothes, Costco toilet paper, books, shoes, coats, and who knows what all are lying heaped up between the foot of my bed and my closet. I feel terrible for my roommate, who just finished cleaning out her side of the room, which is now spotless (she even dusted!). Who wants to live with a slob? I would prefer to not live with a slob, but since i can't really get away from me, I guess I either need to get on it or get over it. I'm choosing to get on it.

Slice of Life Day 4: Sweet Celebration

Instead of giving birthday gifts, I often make birthday cakes. Today I made a birthday cake for my roommate Amanda, who is turning 21 on Sunday. We threw her a huge party tonight at our apartment (75 people who came in and out of an area that's less than 75 square feet), and the main attraction, besides the birthday girl herself, was the cake: Amanda's name spelled out in huge letters made of chocolate, funfetti, and strawberry cake. It was awesome, especially when Amanda tried to blow out all of the candles in one breath. So tody's Slice of Life composition is about a slice of cake, and goldfish crackers, and good friends, and laughing, and stress. The party is over now, the guests are gone (thank goodness), but the memories of fun, friends, and a delectable demonstration of my love for my roommate still linger in my head.

Slice of Life Day 3: Foot In My Mouth

Do you ever have one of those moments when the second you say something you want to reach out and grab it and shove it back in because it's so ridiculous? Yeah, I had one of those today.
My roommate's two guy friends came over, and one was pretty good looking. Not only was he good looking, but as soon as I starting talking, he started teasing me about everything - a good sign in my book. Because honestly, what girl doesn't love being teased?
Anyways, I decided to tease him back, but of course my game is a little rusty since I've had no social life for the last two weeks (thanks, homework). So I started by asking him how old he was, because he looked kind of older, and as soon as I asked, I wanted to yank those words out of the air and shove them back into my mouth. Because clearly, I had struck a nerve. He said that he was 28 (it came out later that he is actually 24) and then he was joking about how he looks so old, and I tried to make him feel better but I just kept digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole.

So now I feel terrible. Even though I'm sure he was only pretending to be hurt to make me feel guilty. But I really do feel guilty.

Note to self: Don't say stupid stuff!

Slice of LIfe Day 1: Camping

My day started at 4:30am this morning. I was awakened by the bitter cold nipping at my nose and the solid concrete smashed against my right hip. At 4:30am this morning, I was huddled in a tent outside the Marriott Center, hoping that the awesome seats and the crazy experience that were coming Wednesday night would be worth getting frostbite in my facial features. Because neither I nor my tentmate Brooke could sleep due to frostiness, I did a quick 7-11 run for a bathroom break, hot chocolate, and handwarmers. It only took 15 minutes, but I was still afraid that I would return to find a frozen Brooke corpse in the tent. To my utmost relief, Brooke was alive, but just barely, and we both revived ourselves with the hot chocolate. After she took a turn at the bathroom, we both hunkered down once again, with our toes a little less frozen (I also purchased foot warmers), our insides thawed, and with the hope that comes with knowing that a hot shower is just three hours away.

I've never been more excited than tonight to sleep in a nice warm bed. No more concrete for me, thanks!

Slice of Life Day 2: Depression

I'm legitimately depressed. I'm depressed that we lost. I'm depressed that Davies is gone. I'm depressed that some referees are blind. I'm depressed that I caved to temptation and attempted to drown my sorrows in a frosty float. And if you have no idea what this post is about, then that depresses me too. The few glimmers of light amidst this depression was the Golden Girls dancing and shimmying, as if they were nowhere near their actual respective ages. There was also the guy behind me who instead of chanting "You suck, ref!" simply yelled: "Your reffing abilities are sub-par!" And that made me laugh despite the depressing situation. I'm hoping that the depression will wash away with the blue face paint and the blue temporary hair dye as I take a shower tonight, and probably tomorrow morning too (face paint and hair dye are tricky to get off, believe me). It will all get better I'm sure, but right now I'm still depressed. Depressed that our number 1 seed shot is gone, and our #3 ranking is gone, and our forward is gone. I'm sorry it had to end this way, Jimmer. Really really sorry.